Andy and I celebrated 25 years of marriage on May 29th. I have to say, it's been a pretty easy 25 years......thanks to him mainly. He is the most easy-going person I know. He puts up with me. He stands by me. He supports me. He's my best friend. And I thank God every day for giving me someone so wonderful.
And why do I feel guilty about that?
My sister also recently celebrated 25 years of marriage, this past January. She just left my house after spending the last six days with me. She has left her husband. He cheated on her. An affair. Can you believe that? An affair! After 25 years of marriage!
Their 25 years have been the exact opposite of mine and Andy's. It has been rough-going from the start. I always wondered how they managed to stay together, but gee whiz, after 25 years, I thought they just had it figured out and would be together forever. So 4 kids and 3 grandbabies later, they are calling it quits. He doesn't want to. He wants her to forgive him and stay with him. She told him she can forgive him, but she'll never forget....and she just wants out.
I was surprised by her this weekend. I've always been the strong one of the two sisters, even though I'm the younger one. She's never had much self-confidence......I've always had it spilling out of me. She's the quiet one.....I'm the one who always has something to say. She's the one who always calls me, crying, her heart ripped out by either something her kids or her husband had done......I was the one who always listened, always gave her advice, always encouraged her to hang in there. She has always said I was her hero and she wished she were more like me.
This week I saw a different side of her. Angry? Yes. Broken? No. She said the fact that she finally knew he was having an affair was like having a burden lifted off of her shoulders and she's ready to move on......without him. She is like a different person. Yes, sad by what she's lost.....but excited about a future life where she gets to call the shots, where she gets to finally be herself. Where she gets to be.......happy.
If it were me, and I had found out that Andy had cheated on me, I'd be, well, broken. Devastated. Angry. Vengeful........
But she is none of those things. Oh yes, she cried a few times while she was here. But the strength and dignity with which she is handling this has been mind blowing to me. I am in awe of her. I think I have a new hero.
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3 comments:
This is such a beautiful post, even though the topic is very sad. I'll whisper a little prayer for your sister - but it does seem like she is ready to spread her wings and just bloom.
Your sister is an amazing woman, Boops. Tell her that somebody who has been in her shoes is sending her good thoughts. The road she is walking now is not an easy one, but once it starts heading downhill it gets easier!
"When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." ~~ as Kat just said - when she is ready, she WILL fly!
My thoughts are with your sis, Boops.
Divorce is never 'easy', but sometimes it *is* the solution. Just keep being the awesome sis that you are, and she'll come out the other end stronger, wiser and happier.
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